You are unique and you should never sacrifice who you are and what you deserve in a relationship for another human being.
Don’t rush love. Focus on who you are on your own and someone that loves you for you, will find you or you’ll find them.
I had been on the search for true love even before I knew what it was. I was raised by two wonderful parents who have been together since they were high school sweethearts. My grandparents each had equally fascinating love stories (although not quite as direct). Not to mention a healthy dose of romance from watching movies, reading books and playing video games.
My parents, as well as other couples like them, were and are very lucky. Let’s face it, not a lot of people find their true love right out of the starting gate. I’d had a number of failed relationships over the years, and in many I found myself sacrificing my own feelings to make them happy with little to no reciprocation. I wasted my time trying to struggle through relationships that didn’t even make me happy. If you are unhappy in your relationship, move on and find someone who is worth your time; biological clock be damned.
A little over three years ago now, not willing to sacrifice who I was anymore, I sat down and made a list of what I needed in another person. A week or two later Cameron and I started talking and even though I was resolved to call it off if he didn’t have the qualities on my list, I didn’t have to worry, Cameron is EVERYTHING on my list.
I strongly urge those of you who are looking for someone special to sit down and make a list of what is important to you and then never waver from it. It will pay off in the end, I promise. Below is the list I wrote over three years ago before meeting Cameron.
- He has to like or at least enjoy himself at Disneyland.
- He has to like animals. I’m not giving them up for anyone.
- He has to take pleasure out of life, not feel that every day is the same and loathe routine.
- He has to like the holidays, especially Christmas and celebrate it with warmth and enthusiasm.
- He has to love his family and be willing to spend time with mine, maybe even love them too.
- He has to have a real job, or be willing to get one to contribute to our life together.
- He has to want me and make an effort to keep me.
- He has to be loyal down to his toes, if I am trying not to be jealous (I am a jealous person by nature) he has to try not to make me so.
- He has to want to experience things, and not sit on his butt all day, but also realize we do not have to go out every night.
- He has to love me through and through and not be a quitter if things get hard.
- He has to allow me to listen to music I like, not just his choice.
- He has to allow me to pick movies or shows, not just his choice.
Cameron and I were married this past June 2012. Throughout the course of our relationship and marriage we have not fought once. We communicate and compromise. He loves me for me, and I love him for him. I am the happiest I’ve ever been because I decided to be me and find someone who accepted and complimented the person I am.